Happy Easter!

As we approach Easter Sunday I always reflect on the new life God has given me which then leads me to thinking about the new life my adopted children have.  Because of Christ we are adopted into God's family, we are given a new name, a new hope and future, a new heritage.  Through the legal adoption of our kids, they too experience a new name, a new family, a new hope and future, and a new heritage. It's especially powerful when our legally adopted kids also accept Christ!  As I look forward to celebrating the empty tomb tomorrow, I rejoice in knowing that I've been saved by the blood of a Son!

Slava's New Bike!

 Slava got a new bike this week.  The 2 hand-me-down bikes he used last summer didn't survive the winter.  We told him it was the reward he earned for enough stars on his behavior chart.  Sshhhhh....we were going to get him a new bike anyway, but thought we'd kill 2 birds with one stone!

Invasion of the Stomach Bug!

 Last Saturday I posted that Sierra was sick.  She so generously shared her germs with us that by Monday morning Anna, Slava, and Wayne had it.  And by Monday afternoon Jordan got it too.  I was down for the count on Thursday.  I'm pleased to report that as of today, we are all healthy and well.  Phew!

Chef Jordan

 Jordan is always wanting to help me in the kitchen.  I was feeling a bit guilty when the other day he asked me if I was in a hurry.  I realize that typically when he asks to help me I brush him off because I am in a hurry and just don't want to deal with the added time and mess it would make.  Instead of asking me if he can help, now he just asks if I'm in a hurry.  So, this week I tried to enlist his help more.  Maybe if I take the time to teach him to cook, he could take over the kitchen for me!

Resurrection Eggs

Slava loved learning about the Easter story with our Resurrection Eggs.  I've had this set for a long time and it's a great way to teach little ones about Easter.  Each of the 12 eggs are numbered and each has a little trinket in it to symbolize the story.  The first egg has a little plastic donkey to symbolize Jesus riding into Jerusalem.  Other objects include a cup (the Last Supper), nails, silver coins, crown of thorns, etc.  The last egg is empty to symbolize the empty tomb - Christ has risen!

By the blood of a Son, I have overcome the grave...

Our church has an annual Talent Night and this year Curtis, Wayne Jr. and Sierra (left-right) performed this song.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  Happy Easter!  Christ Has Risen!

33 Days Until Summit 9!!!!

I am writing this post as part of the Summit 9 Blogger Giveaway.  Check out all the details at http://www.summit9.org/ 

Last year my pastor's wife, Mary, and I attended Christian Alliance For Orphans' annual orphan summit in California.  After Orphan Sunday that year we were inspired to attend the summit, but California is a bit far from NY.  The Lord, however, opened the door for us to go.  Our husbands gave their blessing and the church offered frequent flier miles that we didn't even know existed.  We flew to CA for $10 each!

Summit 8 was an amazing experience for these 2 adoptive moms.  We had sensed the Lord leading us to orphan ministry and attending the summit was confirmation of that.  We  came home excited, overwhelmed, and motivated to action.  Our ministry, Justice For Orphans (based on Psalm 10:17-18) was born shortly after our return home.  We hosted our first "mini-summit" in October and went on to host other events as well.  The Lord opened the door to local Christian radio and Justice For Orphans will be hosting our own radio show on everything orphan - adoption, foster care, global orphan care, parenting traumatized children, etc.  And we are currently hosting classes at our church where 6 families will become certified foster parents.  Like I said, Summit 8 was a major motivator!

Mary and I are counting down the days to Summit 9!  We've registered, booked our flights to Nashville, and secured a hotel room.  This year I'm excited about the workshops on "Becoming a Trauma-Competent Healing Parent."  This is an area I have first hand experience in with our youngest adopted son from Ukraine.  My husband and I even attended the Empowered To Connect conference in Nashville last fall.  One of the aspects of our orphan ministry is to come along side parents who are struggling as they parent children who come from "hard places."  I know these workshops at the Summit will be invaluable.  Of course there are so many informative sessions that it's so hard to choose just 6!  Mary and I appreciate the workshops that focus on building church orphan ministries as well as the one that targets human trafficking.  Aside from the educational workshops we also enjoy the camaraderie of being together with thousands of people who are also passionate about the mandate that the Lord gives us in James 1:27!  To spend a few days together with that many like-minded brothers and sisters in Christ who also have a heart for the fatherless is priceless!

But You Said It Was Spring!

This week I've been reading the book Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton.  It's about awakening Christians to Gospel-centered adoption and orphan care.  Here's a quote, "Traveling to another country to adopt is one thing, but for God to leave heaven for earth and adopt sinners is an act of amazing grace."  Adoption is the heart of God the Father, after all He adopted us!  

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman,

born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that

we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the 

Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer

a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Galatians 4:4-7

School?  Yes, school!

 Everyday I find Andrii reading his book for school curled up on my bed.  It's precious to me.  The other day I walked in to find Jordan and Slava quietly (yes, amazingly enough, quietly) laying on my bed while Andrii was reading.  He wasn't reading to them, he was just reading and they were in there with him.  I couldn't resist taking a picture.

Teacher Kerri and Student Slava!

 Kerri coming 3 days each week is a huge blessing.  On those days I set out Slava's school work, so Kerri can do it with him.  Sshhhh  don't tell her, but I'm secretly training her so she'll be all set to home school my grandchildren!

Open Wide!

 Jordan went with me to run some errands one day and insisted we go out to lunch.  He knows of this little diner in town where several folks he knows often eat lunch. He was hoping to see "some of the guys."  Jordan lucked out because his Uncle Mark and cousin Cody were just finishing up their lunch.  We enjoyed some burgers and when I went to pay the waitress said Mark had paid the bill.  That's not the first time he's paid for my lunch!  I was blessed.

Say, "Snap Chat"!

 Anna has this thingy on her I-Touch called Snap Chat.  Apparently you take a picture and add some words and send it to your friends.  She's always bugging Curtis to Snap Chat with her and he tells her "no."  Her persistence paid off last night and he took this pic of himself, sent it to her, and then deleted her from his Snap Chat.  Lovely big brother.  I had her email the pic to me so I could get even by posting it on the blog.  So there you have it!

Home School Shenanigans!

The other day Slava was in this mode of collecting items.  He kept going out to the garage and bringing back in the house various items.  On this trip he dragged in a golf bag cart.  Here Sierra is giving him a ride on it.  While I type this Sierra is in bed sick with the stomach bug.  I woke up at 4:30am to the sound of...never mind, I'll spare you the details.  Now it's almost noon, she's running a fever, and has swiftly visited the bathroom several times.  A couple times she's not quite made it.  Poor thing.

This week, even though this was supposed to be my "no appt week," I had a doctor's appt for a physical and our home school group started bi-weekly spring co-op classes.  Over all it was a pretty good week.

Here are some more thoughts from Orphanology:
Adoption involves purposeful planning - to adopt our kids we had to do tons of paperwork, prepare our home, etc....God's adoption of us wasn't a sudden Plan B idea after all,

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,

that we should be holy and blameless before him.  In love He

predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ,

according to the purpose of His will.

Ephesians 1:4-5

Adoption is costly - International adoption is ridiculously expensive.  While in Ukraine for Slava's adoption I often felt like we were all being held for ransom.  At times we were willing to pay anything to just get home (4 weeks in a foreign country can do that to you)!  In the end with all of our expenses, paperwork, travel, lodging, food, adoption fees, "expediting fees" it cost us around $30,000.  It cost us about the same 5 years earlier to bring home 3 kids!  But that's nothing compared to what it cost our Father to adopt us.  It cost Him the blood of His own Son.  There are so many more links between humans adopting humans and God adopting humans.  Adoption saves children from terrible situations.  Out of God's grace and mercy,  He brought us out of our terrible situations into a relationship with Him through the blood of Christ (Gal. 4:1-7).  And so on.  I'll share more in my next post.  

Now I'm off to stock up on ginger ale.  I really hope this sickness doesn't spread through the whole house!  

Passing Through The Waters

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;  and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;  the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;   Isaiah 43:2-3

These verses are very comforting to me.  This week was a typical busy week, but the Lord is always faithful to carry us through.  On Monday I took my mom to an appointment for a bone-marrow-biopsy. She did pretty well considering she's not a patient patient!  We'll know the results sometime this week.  She's had polysythemia, which is a blood disorder, for about 13 years.  Complications can arise from having this condition for so long.  It could be controlled with medication, or spleen removal, or other stuff which we're not discussing.  We're praying that medication is all that will be necessary.  

Slava - the little towel folder!

 

 Jordan and Slava completed their first week using our behavior chart system.  We are pleased with the results.  Their behavior is showing signs of improvement and their chores are getting done.  They are even doing more chores and finding ways to be helpers to earn more stickers.

Andrii at our monthly Chipotle date.

 Once each month Andrii and I go to BJ's to stock up the household supplies and food stuffs.  He is the best and only helper I bring.  It takes 2 overflowing carts and his muscles and car packing skills to get it done.  I always reward him with lunch and our favorite spot is Chipotle.  Thankfully Wayne brought the other kids to Karate Thursday night so we could just go get this done.  Kerri was only able to come 2 days this week, so I had to fit the shopping trip in on Thursday night.   On the way home Andrii opened the door up for a conversation we've been needing to have with the kids.  He mentioned that one day he might want to return to Ukraine to find his birth parents.  I sent up a quick prayer as I began to share some info that we'd learned 2 years ago while in Ukraine for Slava's adoption.  It's taken 2 years for us to share the info with the kids because there just never seemed to be the right time to tell them.  But Andrii made it the right time the other night.  I had to tell him that we learned that his biological mom, Tetyana, died a few months after we had adopted him and Anna, and Jordan.  His father's name is Anatoliy, and he is still alive as far as we know.  Andrii wanted to know what else we knew.  The only other thing we knew was the name of the village that the kids were born in and that the bio father no longer lives as the last known address.  I told him we had documents that he was welcome to look at anytime and that he could ask us anything and talk about whatever he wanted to.  We knew that Andrii and Anna had both lived with the bio parents until they were removed from the home due to neglect because of the parents alcoholism.  I explained to Andrii that though his parents had made some poor choices, life in Ukraine is incredibly difficult and generational issues certainly played a roll.  He said he'd prayed and forgiven them already.  Later that evening he did ask to see the documents that I had.  In the end he said that maybe he'd name his first born daughter, Tetyana.  I think it is a very beautiful name.

Anna & Slava at Panera

Since the little boys earned their behavior chart rewards, I took them to Walmart and out to lunch on Friday.  Since Sierra and Andrii both work on Fridays, the rest of us skipped school and went shopping.  Jordan is not in the picture because he's developed an aversion to having his pic taken.

Oh My Deer!

 Saturday morning we discovered 5 deer eating outside our window.  We always see deer but never this close to the house.  They stayed around for quite a while.  Daddy would have liked to see this too, but he is at our church's Men's Retreat this weekend.

Slava's Vacuum!

 The little boys are enjoying their rewards.  Slava picked out a hand held vacuum.  He'd seen one at my mom's and had been really wanting one.  It's real, not a toy.  Jordan picked out a small Lego set which he was able to put together all by himself by following the directions.  He's becoming such a big boy!  Now if we could just get him to stop sucking those fingers!

This morning I took both little boys to Karate.  I couldn't resist recording them fighting with Sensei.  

So far the weekend is going pretty well.  I was a bit worried since Wayne really takes over with the little boys on the weekends.  He's at the retreat until after church on Sunday.  The big kids are helping me and the behavior charts have a positive affect too.  I'm looking forward to my trip to Nashville in May, so I'll get my turn away too!

A More Restful Week

This week I put into practice my plan to take back control of our family calendar.  My plan is to block off every other week as a "no appointment" week.  Aside from the routine stuff (church, karate, piano, etc.) I'm not booking any doctor or dentist appts, unless it's an emergency of course.  So this week was blissful (almost) since I didn't have to run anyone anywhere for anything.  In fact, aside from taking Slava to OT on Monday, and running the kids to karate on Thursday, I never left the house!  I even had our groceries delivered.  It helped that Sierra was away for the week because I didn't have to run her to work or piano and due to a snow storm Slava's PT was cancelled.  It felt so good to have a respite from the running.  This week I'm taking my mom to a doctor appt, and Slava has a doctor and dentist appointment too.  But I have the following week to look forward to which has no appointments scheduled.  I'm thrilled with this plan!

Where'd the snow go?

 We've had this little snowmobile since Sierra was little.  Wheels can be added for when there's not enough snow.  Slava loves it!  I think we have a future racer on our hands!

Paint the Box

 On Monday Andrii & Anna joined the youth group for a day of snow boarding.  This left me home alone with Slava & Jordan.  While trying to keep Slava out of trouble while doing school with Jordan, I busted out the paints so he could paint the big box.  Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures!  Of course Jordan was more interested in painting then phonics!

"40-80 Inches"

 Structured, hands-on activities are the best for keeping little Slava's out of trouble.  His OT therapist suggested the game "Letter School" to work on fine motor skills and letter/number writing practice.  I down-loaded it on my I-Pad.  Slava loves it...probably because it's interactive and the letters blow up like fireworks if he forms them correctly.  Works for me!

 More hands-on fun with Bend-a-roos!

 Slava loves to play with these waxy, bendy sticks when we're at the social worker's office.  They're actually pretty inexpensive, so I ordered a bunch online.

Snow Day!

 By now we're all pretty much done with winter, but we got more snow this week anyway.  At least it sent the little boys out to play on Friday.  I looked out the window and discovered Jordan on our little car with a snow shovel.  He'd climbed up there with a stool from Daddy's garage.  He cleaned the whole thing off for me.

Bend-a-roo creations!

 Behavior Chart Buddies

We've been really struggling with the little boys' behavior.  Jordan has turned into this loud little boy who seems to yell all the time.  He also needs work on obedience, chores, cooperation, and overall attitude.  Slava has been especially frustrating lately with his words.  He keeps saying works like "stupid" "you guys are mean" "you guys are jerks" "be quiet" "shut up" etc.  The more I correct him, the more he says them.  He also has a hard time with impulse control (just ask our dog) and obedience.  I've been thinking about doing some kind of behavior chart and Wayne said to do it.  We started on Friday.  I designed my own reproducible chart and filled in the chores and behaviors they need to work on.  They earn stickers daily for success and x's for wrong behavior.  Three x's in an area means no sticker for that box.  At bedtime we review their chart and if they earned enough little stickers throughout the day, they then get a gold star for the day.  If they get 7 gold starts for the week they get the reward they were working towards.  At the beginning of the week they get to choose their reward to work towards.  This week Jordan wants a step ladder that Daddy has out in the garage and Slava wants a dust-buster little vacuum.  Weird kids, I know!  But if the behavior improves, which it did the very first day, it's worth it!  

Snow People!

Hopefully this was our last "hurrah"in the snow.  At least the kids like it.  Here Anna (right) and her best friend Mary show off their snow creations.  

Shore Show Off

 While we were all suffering in the snowy northeast, Sierra was basking on the beach in SC.  She was gone a full week, but we saw her everyday on Face Time.  As I type this she just arrived home about an hour ago.  At least her trip has inspired the rest of us snowbirds.  We're considering a family trip to the ocean.  Our Ukrainian kids have never been to the ocean.  I've talked about going the past couple years but we've never done it.  This morning Wayne & I looked on a map because any trip we take he'd like to combine with a trip to the Creation Museum which is on the boarder of Ohio and Kentucky.  No ocean near there but drive due east and we could run right into Virginia Beach (after crossing West Virginia and Virginia)!  It's become a family discussion so we might just take the plunge sometime in June when Curtis and Wayne & Kerri will be finished with school.

My Baby Girl

It just dawned on me that in September, Sierra will begin her senior year of high school.  She's been homeschooled her whole life and this year has been doing college courses online with Liberty University.  By the time she graduates from high school she will have earned an Associates of Arts in Psychology degree.  It amazes me...and I'm still not ready for it.  Associates degree or not, I might just hold her back this year.  I'm not ready to let her go!  Sweet-bitter-sweet.

Connecting

Yay!  It's March!  This morning when I sat down for my whole 5 minutes of quiet time, I heard a bird chirping outside.  It's almost spring!  Yes!  I don't typically complain about winter, but this year was a tough one.  Maybe it's not so much the winter season, probably more just the season of life I'm in, but I'm so very ready for warm, sunny weather.  Lately I've been warning everyone that I'm going to spend 3 days on a beach, by myself, in Hawaii.  Did I mention - by myself?  On some more stressful days I've added that I might even drink a pina colada while on said beach.  Now I've added that I will be staying in a luxury suite, by myself, and enjoying long, hot bubbly baths, with another pina colada.  Did I mention all by myself?  Ok, ok, it's just a dream, maybe even a fantasy, but at least my sense of humor is intact.  The Lord has a sense of humor too - that's why my 16 year old daughter got invited by some of our close friends to go to South Carolina for a week.  By tomorrow she'll be on the beach!  Alls I can say is she better not drink my pina colada!  Honestly though, I don't even drink alcohol.  And I'm very happy that my daughter gets to have this blessing of a trip.  She's going with her best friend, Luci.  Luci's older brother is married and has 2 little kids.  Luci & Sierra are going with them to help with the little ones.  It doesn't hurt that they will be staying in a beach-side condo while they're helping!  

Rock the Flock

 I'm very blessed by the musical talents of by children.  Maybe because I do not have a musical bone in my body!  This pic is a little blurry, sorry.  But it was taken last Sunday in Church.  My son Wayne (far right) led worship, my son Curtis is behind the drums.  They both typically play, but this week Wayne Jr. led in singing too.  This proud mama couldn't resist snapping a picture!

Sierra teaching Jordan to punch!

I'm not sure why this pic is blurry either.  My I-Phone is tired of winter too maybe?  I'm so thankful that we have a Christ based Karate program 5 minutes from our house.  Sierra is an orange belt (with a green tip), Anna is a yellow belt, and Jordan & Slava are still white belts.  Watching the little boys in class is a crack-up.  I wasn't sure they would ever really promote.  They have such poor fine motor skills that their punching is very uncoordinated.  Jordan's cast makes some of the moves challenging for him, and I'm not very sure how much Slava is getting out of it.  His body awareness isn't very good.  But last week when Sensei asked what a (some Japanese word) is, Slava raised his hand and said, "Front Slap Kick"!  Sensei was a bit confused but then Jordan raised his hand and clarified, "Front Snap Kick"!  Apparently Slava does know what's going on!  Even if he can't pronounce it correctly.  His social worker and his OT/PT therapists have all commented that Karate is an excellent activity for him.  It teaches him to focus, listen and follow directions, obedience, discipline, improves coordination and fine/large motor skills, and is an excellent out-let for all that energy he has.  We're considering taking him on Saturday mornings too.  Maybe he'll become a black belt someday!

In this video, Sierra is the orange belt demonstrating high kicks.  Jordan is in the front row and Slava is behind him.

Above is Slava & Sensei

Slava in a box!

 We got a new commercial washer/dryer which came in this huge box.  Slava & Jordan wasted no time turning it into a house.  Of course they're arguing over whose house it really is.

Happy 26th Birthday Little Oscar!

I got the above little food processor for my bridal shower 26 years ago.  I use it frequently to chop nuts, onions, and bananas for my famous chocolate chip banana bread.  Well, it's famous at our house anyway!

Wayne and I are taking the MAPP classes to become certified foster parents.  We're hoping to be able to do respite for some family members who are taking the classes too.  And maybe down the road we'll do foster care when we actually have a bed available for a child.  Mary and I are very excited about the coming months with Justice For Orphans.  Tomorrow our Church youth group is doing a soup lunch fundraiser for us after church.  They want to help us fund our radio show which we'll begin recording in a few months.  We will be doing a community yard sale day this summer and a 5K run is in the works as a fundraiser in September.  Our logo and website are almost complete.  Sometime by the end of March I'll reveal them on this site!  And Mary and I are registered and our flights are booked for Christian Alliance For Orphans' Summit 9 in Nashville!

Presently I'm re-reading Dr. Karyn Purvis' book "The Connected Child".  I've said before that her teachings have helped us with our adopted children immensely.  We even traveled to Nashville last September to attend her "Empowered to Connect" conference.  And Wayne & I will be participating in a training program this fall so that we can teach other families how to connect with their kids from hard places.  Upon re-reading the book I'm reminded about the power of fear.  These kids live with fear due to the traumas they survived in their early lives.  Looking back I now understand that much of Slava's behavior in the early days was due to fear - fear of us, fear of the unknown, fear of this foreign place we'd brought him.  We knew he was in a much better place, a safer place, but he didn't know that.  He'd never been safe before.  Realizing this cultivates compassion.  We're learning how to disarm fear with felt safety.  In addition to the FASD and sensory issues, his disturbing behaviors are triggered by fear.  There is hope however, and we are learning how to help him to feel safe which builds trust.  He was never able to trust a caregiver before.  It takes time to learn trust.  Reducing stress, a predictable routine, giving some control with simple choices, respecting feelings, and giving kids voice all help promote feelings of safety over time.  I've always thought it was sort of cute that Slava is a "backseat driver" - he's always asking me if I'm speeding, telling me when the light is red so I can be sure to stop, and telling me when to turn (he's pretty smart and knows how to get where we're going).  I had chalked it up to him being a bossy Ukrainian.  But now I'm realizing that in reality - he doesn't feel safe or in control in the car.  There is underlying fear causing him to ask these questions.  He doesn't have control in the car.  Now I try to disarm the fear by telling him what the speed limit is and assuring him that I'm obeying that rule.  I ask him where/when to turn, and tell him the name of the roads we're on.  It's a lot of work, but he's so worth it.
Well, I just realized I'm home - alone!  Better get going on accomplishing some paperwork while I have the uninterrupted time to do it!  Blessings to all!