Exceeding Abundantly Above

Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worth in us.  Unto Him be glory...   Ephesians 3:20

It's been a long winter, but God has been faithful and blessings abound!  

I came home from a day of appointments and found the kids all outside and playing with these giant icicles.  We've been studying the American Revolution and it has affected their play time!

Icicle Guns!

Jordan, Slava, Neighbor Mary, and Anna

Slava - Burrito Bongo!

 Slava often has trouble managing himself and deep-pressure touch helps him to regulate.  I'm always on the look out for ways to help him manage.  He has a weighted blanket which I wrap him in burrito-style when he feels the need.  The other day I added these weighted core discs and played "bongos" on him.  He loved it!

Patriots!

 We've been watching the Liberty's Kids dvd series as part of our history curriculum.  We've also been following the current events in Ukraine since our kids are from there, we have friends there, and it's a country near-and-dear to our hearts.  While watching an episode of Liberty's Kids which included a battle between the Patriots and the British, Jordan commented, "This looks like what's going on in Ukraine."  Hmmmm, very good observation, my son!

Baby Shower Shenanigans!

 Sierra, Missy, Anna, & Kerri (opening gift).

We finally were able to pull off a baby shower for Kerri.  Between snow storms, sickness, and Iona arriving early, this was no small fete!  

Me and my girls!

 L-R (Anna, Kerri w/ Iona, Me, Missy, & Sierra)

Sending off a son.

 Recently our pastor's son, Sergey, who was adopted from Ukraine over 10 years ago, embarked on a new adventure.  He headed back to Ukraine to do a Discipleship Training School (DTS) with Youth With A Mission (YWAM).  He's with a team that works with older kids in orphanages.  Serg has a heart to minister to orphans in Ukraine, as he had been one.  In the pic Pastor Stan is preparing to pray for his son.  On the left is Victor, Sergey's younger bio brother.  These 2 young men know what "adopted to sonship" really means.

JFO - "Love In Action" wrist band fundraiser.

 We are currently preparing for our biggest JFO event to date.  Our Love In Action - Finding Families For NY's Waiting Children event on May 16th is a foster care focused event.  Our fundraiser includes these wrist bands we're asking a $3 donation each for.  Let me know if you'd like one...or ten!  To learn more visit our website:  http://justicefororphansny.org

JFO's Justice Conference booth!

 Wayne decided to take our little boys skiing for the weekend recently, so I used the opportunity to represent JFO at the Justice Conference in Clifton Park, NY.

Radio Show Recording

 This is my view front the hosts' seat for our radio show Orphans No More.  For this episode we interviewed Stepan & Oksana Terletsky of Mercy Trucks Ukraine (pictured on the laptop).  It was our first attempt to record a show from a remote location, in this case Ukraine.  In the background is Mary's son, Kireel.  He was watching from the producer's studio.  You can listen to past episodes of the show by visiting our website http://justicefororphansny.org and click on "Events" and then "Radio Show".

Slava's Stitches

 Friday evening, while everyone was out and I was home all by myself (a rare occurrence) the phone rang beckoning me to urgent care.  Slava was bitten by a friend's dog.  With Slava's many issues, impulse control and reasoning are weak points.  He has pulled a very large dog's tail and was bitten as a result.

 He got 3 stitches in his left cheek, 1 on his head, and 5 in his ear.  He's on an antibiotic and we're watching him closely.  When I discussed with him that we should never touch a dog, he pretty much declared that if that dog bit him again he'd punch it.  I guess we still have a lot of work to do!

Singing Sisters

Missy stopped by the other day to practice music with Sierra.  Missy works at an assisted living facility and she's had Sierra come in to play the piano for the residents.  Now they're  working on some songs together.  I was blessed to hear their music!  

So that's what's been going on here!  Feeling very blessed!

ORPHAN SUNDAY: One Day - One Voice - One Purpose

Orphan Sunday is an event near and dear to my heart.  As an adoptive parent I have come to understand God's heart for the orphan and even better understand the Father's heart for me - a former orphan until He adopted me into His family.  Orphan Sunday is a day to celebrate adoption, foster care, and global orphan care that reflects God's heart as revealed in His Word.  Psalm 68:5-6 says A father to the fatherless...is God in His holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families...

Orphan Sunday is an annual event on the 1st Sunday of November.  On Orphan Sunday Christians stand for the orphan on One Day - with One Voice - for One Purpose!  I invite you and your church to join us along with thousands of others across the United States and around the globe to celebrate this November 3rd.

Why celebrate Orphan Sunday?  As Christians, WE are the people God has called to defend the fatherless, to care for the child that has no family, to visit the orphan in their distress.  It is mandated in His Word:  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress...James 1:27.  It is not the government's job to care for orphans - it's OURS!  There are approximately 163 million orphans in the world - some adoptable, some not, but all need to know the love of God. Not all of these children are found in distant orphanages overseas.  Did you know that the United States has orphans?  There are over 400,00 children in the American foster care system.  Over 100,000 of them are available for adoption with 250,000 entering the system annually.  ALL of these children are created in God's image and every one of them needs and deserves to know the love of God and it's OUR responsibility to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these kids.
There are over 350,000 churches in the United States.  If just one family from each church were to take in 1 or 2 of the children from the foster care system alone that would leave zero kids in the system - they'd be in Christian homes!

I know not everyone is called to adopt or foster - but I do believe that if more Christians prayed, and sought the Lord on what He'd have them do for the fatherless, and if they walked it out in obedience - there would be a whole lot less orphans in the world and a whole lot more sons and daughters in families.  I challenge you to pray as individuals, as families, and as a church.  Ask the Lord what He would have you to do, and trust me - there will be an answer to that prayer.

Orphan Sunday is about waking the Church up to consider these things. It is simply taking some time during your Sunday service to share God's heart for the orphan.  A church could spend as little as 10 minutes or as much as an entire service dedicated to celebrating God's love for the fatherless.  Just visit the Orphan Sunday website at http://orphansunday.org/  to access free video downloads, event ideas, posters, post cards, bulletin inserts, and even sermon notes.  The 3 minute video clips are perfect for showing in church on Sunday.  Adding a testimony from a foster or adoptive family is a powerful message too.

This year on 11/3 my own church, Gospel Community Church in Coxsackie, NY, will be presenting a 30 minute video featuring Ukraine's orphans as part of our celebration.  Anyone in the area is welcome to attend our 10:30am service.  The Sound of Life radio ministry will also be broadcasting live from our church that morning.  Please join us - or better yet - get involved by getting your own church to celebrate Orphan Sunday!  And if you do, please let me know.  As the Orphan Sunday regional coordinator for New York, I'd love to hear what your church is doing for Orphan Sunday.  You can contact me at this blog, email me at sandraflachjfo@gmail.com, or by going to my ministry's website:
http://justicefororphansny.org/.

Join us in defending the cause of the fatherless!
http://orphansunday.org/

Orphan Summit 9 - Nashville 2013

Christian Alliance For Orphans' annual Orphan Summit 9 - amazing, moving, challenging, motivating, overwhelming, and inspiring!  I'm just back from the Summit in Nashville and thought I'd share on the experience.  This is our 2nd time attending the Orphan Summit and I'd have to say that it was just as excellent and overwhelming as last year.  The very first Orphan Summit - 9 years ago - had 39 people in attendance.  This year there was a record-setting 2,500 people!  Brentwood Baptist Church was maxed out and, for the first time ever, CAFO couldn't accept registrations at the door.  If you didn't pre-register, you didn't get in.  Mary and I were relieved to have pre-registered of course!  

 Mary & I on Wednesday evening after checking in.  We got our cool name tags and free coffee and sat on the lawn to dig through our goody-bags and enjoy the Nashville sunshine!

My really cool name tag! 

 We stopped at the help-desk to pick up some ribbons to add to our name tag.  It made us feel pretty important to sport all those ribbons for the causes we're connected with.

Thursday morning began with worship and opening prayers by Pastor Mike Glenn of Brentwood Baptist and Pastor Daniel Kaggwa from Uganda.  Over 25 countries were represented at the Summit as well as every State in the Union except Vermont.  We will have to do something about that!  Jedd Medefind, President of Christian Alliance For Orphans welcomed us and our very talented emcee was Peder Eide (worship leader, speaker, and adoptive dad).

On stage:  Congresswoman Michele Bachmann with Dennis Rainey & Bob Lepine from Family Life.

 Aside from being pro-life and pro-family, Congresswoman Bachman and her husband fostered over 25 older kids in there home while they were raising their own little ones.

After the morning General Session we attended breakout sessions throughout each day.  Pictured below is Dr. Karyn Purvis.  She is the the teacher that Wayne & I went to see at the Empowered To Connect conference last September.  She will also be at an adoption/foster care conference in Albany on Friday, which I plan to attend as well.  I highly respect Dr. Purvis and have learned so much from her regarding parenting "kids from hard places."

After lunch on Wednesday Mary and I watched a movie screening on the documentary "Stuck."  It detailed the painful realities and conflicts that arise in the process of inter-country adoption.  It was emotionally draining as literally millions of children are "stuck" in orphanages around the world with no hope for a family.

The Wagner Family interviewed by John Carr from Bethany Christian Services.

 The Wagner family (parents seated far right) have 3 biological kids and fostered/adopted 5.  They were featured in the Orphan Sunday 2012 video.  In the evening we were treated to some music by recording artist, Show Hope founder, and adoptive dad - Steven Curtis Chapman.  It was a real treat.

Friday began with worship and another live interview by Dennis Rainey & Bob Lepine of Family Life radio.  This time they spoke with Bishop W. C. Martin of Possum Trot, Texas.  He pastors Bennet Chapel and in 1997 he and his wife began fostering and adopted 4 children.  Since then his small congregation has stepped up to foster/adopt 76 children.

George Dennehy playing guitar with his feet.

 A while back I saw a video on facebook about adoption and it featured the Dennehy family.  George is one of the several children they have adopted.  He is from Romania and was born with no arms.  When he was adopted at 14 months old he only weighed 9 pounds.  In many Eastern European countries, if a child is born with a deformity it is considered a curse of God.  So in the orphanage he was given even less care then the other orphans.  Adopted by the Dennehy's it was discovered that he has musical talent.  He can play the cello, piano, bass guitar, and acoustic guitar.  George treated us to "Amazing Grace" which he sang and played the guitar for.  He has an incredible sense of humor even telling us that his nick-name is "no arm guy"!  He has been able to travel back to Romania recently to meet his birth parents and even spoke about how adoption saved his life on the radio in Romania.  Romania is currently a closed country as international adoption is not permitted there.

Mary and I with Bishop Martin.

 On Friday we attended a lunch meeting for Orphan Sunday coordinators.  We learned about some new OS resources to help us in connecting with churches to promote Orphan Sunday.  Pictured below from left to right (Larry Bergeron pastor and author of Journey to the Fatherless, David Aruda - pastor and OS coordinator for Massachusetts, and Jodi Jackson-Tucker - international director for Orphan Sunday.

 Orphan Sunday first began when a pastor in Zambia wanted to inspire his poor congregation to help the orphans in their community.  An American pastor attended that service and was so moved that he brought the idea back to the States and since then Christian Alliance For Orphans has spearheaded the campaign to rally the Church for the cause of the fatherless.  In 2013 it bounced from Zambia, to the US, then back around the world with a million Christians in Ukraine celebrating Orphan Sunday last year.  It has been reported that pastors of churches in Ukraine want to make a "Ukraine without orphans!"  They are promoting foster care and adoption within their own country.

Above is the new face of Orphan Sunday for 2013!  I'm thrilled to report that this face is of a Ukrainian orphan!  Posters and post cards as well as other resources will be available at the Orphan Sunday website.

Some of the other workshops I attended included Biblical Counseling and a Successful Orphan Care Ministry, Building A Church Orphan Ministry 201,  Human Trafficking Targets:  How You Can Help Protect Orphans & Children in Foster Care.  We also watched a screening of the movie King's Faith  which depicted a young man aging out of the foster care system and how he got a second chance on life.  Friday evening's General Session included a performance by recording artist Nicole C. Mullen (also an adoptive mom), music and testimony by country performer Jeremy Wayne.  Jeremy was a homeless street kid at age 13 when his mom and step father abandoned him on the side of the road.  His story was amazing.  The last speaker, pastor, author, adoptive dad, David Platt, challenged us with a message reminding us that adoption is the Gospel.  Using Ephesians 1 (God chose us in love...He predestined us for adoption) Platt pointed out that adoption begins with a parents' initiative to adopt, not a child's.  The Gospel does not begin with our pursuit of God, but His pursuit of us.

All in all it was an excellent conference.  I came home inspired to adopt some orphans and do foster care.....and of course rally the Church for the cause of the fatherless!

Easter Week Happenings

I am so thankful it's April!  We've even enjoyed a couple warmer weather days this week.  And I'm pretty sure I spotted the sun a few times too!  We don't typically take the week off of school though many homeschooling families do.  I try to use this time to do a little school, annual testing, and just try to keep it low key but productive.  Tuesday I enjoyed the annual (26th annual to be exact) homeschooling moms' luncheon.  For the first time I actually brought some of our used curriculum to sell figuring I'd donate whatever money it generated to our orphan ministry.  I was thrilled to bring home an empty bin and $84 for Justice For Orphans.  And the Lord is always at work behind the scenes.  I was introduced to a mom who is in the midst of adoption paperwork!  Her family is adopting from Ukraine!  As it turns out, she was sitting at the table just behind me.   We had a wonderful time talking about Ukrainian adoption.  And now that we've exchanged emails and phone #s - the conversation and friendship continues!  

Anna Promoted!

 Last week Anna took the promotion test in Karate and Thursday night she learned that she passed!  She now has a yellow belt with an orange stripe - that's half way to an orange belt!  Great job, Anna!

Lunch by the river.

 After Anna's promotion test we got Subway for lunch and Sierra suggested we eat it down by the river since the weather was nice.  Sierra, Andrii, Jordan, and Slava are pictured here.  Anna and I opted to eat ours in the car where it was warmer.

Christ Has Risen!

Here is Slava on Easter morning eating his Ukrainian Easter bread.  This is the traditional bread that the babushkas bake in coffee cans and bring to the priest at the Orthodox church for him to bless.  Then they bring it home to eat it on Sunday morning.  

Death In His Grave

On Easter morning Curtis, John H., and Sierra performed this song.  They did a great job for only 2 practices.  This week my boy Curtis turned 21 years old!  Where did the time go???  It seems like another lifetime that my bio kids were little.  I guess it was another lifetime ago, or at least a different season.  It's bittersweet.  We are very proud and excited that Curtis just got accepted to RPI (Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute)!  This is quite the accomplishment for any student, not to mention a homeschool graduate!  He is on his way to becoming a civil engineer.  Way to go, Curt!

Andrii will turn 16 this week also.  He's still counting down the minutes to his permit.  Then we will have 2 permitted drivers in the house...or should I say on the road.  Yikes!  So tomorrow we will have a  family party after church to celebrate both birthdays.  And now I'm off to take the little boys to a birthday party for a friend.  May you all have a blessed week.

But You Said It Was Spring!

This week I've been reading the book Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton.  It's about awakening Christians to Gospel-centered adoption and orphan care.  Here's a quote, "Traveling to another country to adopt is one thing, but for God to leave heaven for earth and adopt sinners is an act of amazing grace."  Adoption is the heart of God the Father, after all He adopted us!  

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman,

born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that

we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the 

Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer

a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Galatians 4:4-7

School?  Yes, school!

 Everyday I find Andrii reading his book for school curled up on my bed.  It's precious to me.  The other day I walked in to find Jordan and Slava quietly (yes, amazingly enough, quietly) laying on my bed while Andrii was reading.  He wasn't reading to them, he was just reading and they were in there with him.  I couldn't resist taking a picture.

Teacher Kerri and Student Slava!

 Kerri coming 3 days each week is a huge blessing.  On those days I set out Slava's school work, so Kerri can do it with him.  Sshhhh  don't tell her, but I'm secretly training her so she'll be all set to home school my grandchildren!

Open Wide!

 Jordan went with me to run some errands one day and insisted we go out to lunch.  He knows of this little diner in town where several folks he knows often eat lunch. He was hoping to see "some of the guys."  Jordan lucked out because his Uncle Mark and cousin Cody were just finishing up their lunch.  We enjoyed some burgers and when I went to pay the waitress said Mark had paid the bill.  That's not the first time he's paid for my lunch!  I was blessed.

Say, "Snap Chat"!

 Anna has this thingy on her I-Touch called Snap Chat.  Apparently you take a picture and add some words and send it to your friends.  She's always bugging Curtis to Snap Chat with her and he tells her "no."  Her persistence paid off last night and he took this pic of himself, sent it to her, and then deleted her from his Snap Chat.  Lovely big brother.  I had her email the pic to me so I could get even by posting it on the blog.  So there you have it!

Home School Shenanigans!

The other day Slava was in this mode of collecting items.  He kept going out to the garage and bringing back in the house various items.  On this trip he dragged in a golf bag cart.  Here Sierra is giving him a ride on it.  While I type this Sierra is in bed sick with the stomach bug.  I woke up at 4:30am to the sound of...never mind, I'll spare you the details.  Now it's almost noon, she's running a fever, and has swiftly visited the bathroom several times.  A couple times she's not quite made it.  Poor thing.

This week, even though this was supposed to be my "no appt week," I had a doctor's appt for a physical and our home school group started bi-weekly spring co-op classes.  Over all it was a pretty good week.

Here are some more thoughts from Orphanology:
Adoption involves purposeful planning - to adopt our kids we had to do tons of paperwork, prepare our home, etc....God's adoption of us wasn't a sudden Plan B idea after all,

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,

that we should be holy and blameless before him.  In love He

predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ,

according to the purpose of His will.

Ephesians 1:4-5

Adoption is costly - International adoption is ridiculously expensive.  While in Ukraine for Slava's adoption I often felt like we were all being held for ransom.  At times we were willing to pay anything to just get home (4 weeks in a foreign country can do that to you)!  In the end with all of our expenses, paperwork, travel, lodging, food, adoption fees, "expediting fees" it cost us around $30,000.  It cost us about the same 5 years earlier to bring home 3 kids!  But that's nothing compared to what it cost our Father to adopt us.  It cost Him the blood of His own Son.  There are so many more links between humans adopting humans and God adopting humans.  Adoption saves children from terrible situations.  Out of God's grace and mercy,  He brought us out of our terrible situations into a relationship with Him through the blood of Christ (Gal. 4:1-7).  And so on.  I'll share more in my next post.  

Now I'm off to stock up on ginger ale.  I really hope this sickness doesn't spread through the whole house!  

Adoption Anniversary

Six years ago on January 6th I boarded an airplane in Kiev, Ukraine finally bringing our kids home.  After 6 weeks in-country, after spending the entire calendar month of December, after putting our biological kids on an airplane home 4 weeks earlier, after spending Christmas in Kiev, after kissing my husband good-bye as he flew home on 12/26, after ringing in the New Year Ukraine-style, after our adoption became official on December 30th, after bringing 3 siblings together for the first time - finally, finally we boarded Delta flight 89 in Kiev - AND WE CAME HOME!!!  But that was neither the beginning nor the end of the adventure!  

Andrii (then 9) & Anna (then 7)

 This picture was taken on Friday, December 1, 2006 - the day we first met them.  On the car ride to meet them we were told that they had been hosted by a Chicago family in 8/05 & 8/06.  We asked why that family didn't adopt them.  We were told that Andrii did not want to be adopted by that family.  We began to worry:  If, after spending 2 summers in Chicago and living the American dream, and then saying "no" - why, why would he say "yes" to us, another American couple who he meets for the very first time.  Andrii was old enough to  have a say and we began to worry that he would say"no"!  But, miraculously, after a very short visit with us, he said "YES!"  It would be almost 6 years before we knew his reasoning.

Jordan (age 3) with Mama in the background.

 We didn't have as many visits with Jordan in his orphanage in Boyrpka.  The bigger kids' orphanage was located a bit farther away in Vasiylkiv and proved to be a much more difficult process.  It required that we travel there more often.  Plus Jordan at one point was hospitalized for a bad cold. We visited him in the hospital once - that was an experience I will never forget.  Praise God for American hospitals!  Because the 10 day wait ended on the weekend, and because that weekend was a holiday we, by the grace of God, were permitted to pick Andrii & Anna up from their orphanage on Thursday, Dec. 28th.  They joined me in the apartment with Missy and my friend Jocelyn who flew over to help us home.  I left the kids in their charge on Friday morning and went to the orphanage in Boyrpka to pick up Jordan.  It was then and there that I discovered the 4th sibling, Slava.  He was 14 months old, and though he'd been in the orphanage since birth, his documents were not in or so he was not yet available for adoption.  I got a glimpse of him as we left not knowing what the future would hold.  When our driver dropped Jordan and I off at our apartment I took his hand to go inside.  He started to cry and squatted down not wanting to go in the strange building with me.  I picked him up and carried him up the few flights of stairs to our apartment.  He cried, and I cried knowing that he was afraid - a strange lady who spoke a strange language was carrying him into a strange building.  Our apartment door opened and a very excited Andrii & Anna welcomed their biological baby brother "home" - meeting him for the very first time ever!  Jordan's tears immediately stopped!   From that point on he just seemed to go with the flow.  These are memories that I will treasure forever.  And as for why Andrii said "no" to the Chicago family.  We learned the answer to that question a few months ago when he shared his testimony at church.  Andrii explained that he knows the love of God because we adopted him and all his siblings.  Apparently the other family did want to adopt Andrii & Anna, but they did not want to adopt Jordan (whose Ukrainian name was Serhiy - Sergay).  Jordan had crossed eyes and a very twisted spine from scoliosis.  The family had hosted the older 2 kids and had not met Jordan but had learned about his health issues and didn't want to take that on.  So, Andrii said "no" because he only wanted to be adopted if all his siblings could be together....he did not even know about Slava at that time.  When we went to the orphanage to meet them, Andrii was told that we wanted to adopt all 3 kids together - so he said "yes" to us!  This is a miracle!  For Andrii to have the opportunity to be adopted with his sister when they were 9 & 7 is a rare opportunity.  For him to turn that down would appear to be wasting a once in a life time chance.  But I believe the Lord honored Andrii's selfless act of love.  He sacrificed what might have been his only opportunity at a family and a future for the sake of others - his brother and sister.  So the Lord sent another family - this time a family who would adopt this whole sibling group.  We were honored with the privilege of being that family!  And 4 years after bringing home Andrii, Anna & Jordan, we were blessed again to bring home Slava and unite all 4 biological siblings.  God is faithful.   A father to the fatherless...is God in His holy dwelling.  God sets the lonely in families...Psalm 68:5-6.

Fast-forward to today:

Anna (right) and her friend Mary (left).

 It's hard to believe that Andrii is almost 16 and Anna is 13!  When we brought them home they were 9 and 7 - the exact same ages that Jordan and Slava are now!

Andrii plowing the driveway with the 4-wheeler.

Our dog Kashi loves to chase anything that moves!

 Jordan's back today, after growing rods were installed a few years ago.  And he's undergone bi-annual surgeries to lengthen the rods.  The last one was in July; the next one is on Monday 1/7/13!

 This picture posted out of sequence for some reason???

Curtis & Slava

                                           Curtis got in the snowy shananigans the other day.

It blesses my heart when he goes out to play with the little kids.

Jordan before his cast came off.

 Jordan is such a trooper.  He wears a fiberglass cast for 6 months between surgeries.  A couple weeks before surgery it comes off so the skin has an opportunity to heal from any irritations.  Once the incision heals a new cast will go on.  Jordan never complains about the casts.  The point of the cast is to protect the rods so he can still be a rambunctious little boy.

Slava not cooperating for the camera!

Keeping Slava busy with structured activities keeps things running smoothly, for the most part.  Wayne took all the big kids snowboarding a couple weeks ago which left me home alone with Slava.  We played 8 rounds of Candyland!

If you made it to this point in the post, I thank you for staying with me!  If you're a regular reader, and haven't done so already, please sign up to be a follower at the right of the screen.  It is an encouragement to me to know people actually take the time to follow.  Blessings to you and yours!

Celebrate Adoption - Happy Birthday Slava!

This time of year I start feeling sentimental.  Maybe it's because both of our Ukrainian adoptions came to fruition in late fall.  We traveled in November 2006 to adopt Andrii, Anna, and Jordan.  Then 2 years ago we traveled to Ukraine again in late October to bring Slava home.  And we just celebrated Slava's 7th birthday on Oct. 16th!  It amazes me that he's been here 2 years, yet we cannot imagine family life without him.  However, life has changed considerably since his arrival!  We thought adopting one child would be a piece of cake since our previous experience bringing 3 home just clicked miraculously.  But this little guy turned out to be waaayyyy more difficult then we had expected.  Not that we were surprised, after all I had done lots of research on the challenges of children adopted from orphanages.  But, we were not really expecting it to be so hard.  

Tumble Time!

 This is a typical school morning.  It was about 8am and Jordan (blue) & Slava (black) were doing flips on a gymnastics mat.  This type of sensory activity is excellent for Slava.

Slava & Daddy in Ukraine 2 years ago.

 Slava has changed so much and has come such a long way in 2 years.  When we first got him he was like a wild animal.  Now I know that was partly from fear, language differences, fetal alcohol issues, sensory processing disorder, and some ADHD to make things interesting.

Every Guy Needs A Ford Truck!

 This is what Slava wanted for his birthday and lots of family pitched in to make it happen.  He drives it all over the place.  When he woke up the morning of his birthday he came into my room and asked me, "Is Slava seben (7)?"  I dramatically proclaimed "yes!" and started singing him Happy Birthday.  He got all excited and said, "I love you guys!"   We love you too Slava!

Slava on his Sit-and-Spin

He got the sit-and-spin for his birthday too from Aunt Becky and Uncle Aaron.  I'd heard that this is an excellent sensory activity also.  So what's with all this sensory stuff?  Let me share a bit on our precious boy:

Since adopting Slava we've learned a lot.  He was definitely much more difficult then the other kids even though he is a bio sibling.  Why?  Well, we know his bio mom drank alcohol extensively.  It's one of the reasons why the Andrii and Anna were removed from the home at ages 5 and 3, parental rights were terminated and they were placed in a government orphanage in Ukraine.  Then when their brother, Sergiy (our Jordan) was born he went from the maternity hospital to the orphanage which is where he was when we adopted him at age 3.  Slava was born 2 years after Jordan (we discovered he was in the same orphanage but not yet actually available for adoption).  Slava too went from the hospital directly into the baby orphanage.  He remained there for 5 years until we were able to adopt him.  Alcoholism is a destructive, progressive disease prevalent in Eastern Europe.  So it only makes sense that the bio mom would drink more excessively over time, and that had huge impact on Slava.

We have been learning a lot in our efforts to help our son.  One of the best books I've ever read on this topic is "The Well Connected Child" by Dr Karyn Purvis.  It was so helpful that I even purchased some of the dvds that she has done with Texas Christian University.  Wayne and I have learned so much that we even attended a conference taught by Dr. Purvis in Nashville back in September.  The Empowered to Connect conference was excellent teaching that we feel not only benefits our family, but can help us to help other families too.  Dr. Purvis refers to kids like Slava as "kids from hard places" and if a child is in foster care or an orphanage they are a kid from hard places.  Slava surely qualifies as a "kid from hard places":  he was exposed to alcohol in the womb, abandoned at birth, neglected in an orphanage for 5 years, and according to his social worker - most likely hit a lot in the orphanage.  Any one of these  categories would qualify him as a kid from hard places, and he has all of them.  Fetal Alcohol issues effect brain development. Most likely that, combined with neglect in the orphanage during his formative years, triggered the Sensory issues.  Slava is sensory seeking, which means he craves stimulation:  all the banging, hitting, loudness, constant motion, and other things are not because he's naughty but because he needs stimulation in order for his brain to process information.  But there is hope.  Many adoptive families believe love is all they need.  Well, yes, love is an important part of the process, but it is not enough.  Really helping kids like Slava to connect with the world around them requires love but also an understanding of where they've been and what they've been through and how that impacts everything about them.  All of the above traumas that Slava has experienced in his childhood had a profound effect on brain development, which in turn has a huge impact on behavior.  So understanding that a child is not "bad" or being bad, but that his behavior is due to faulty wiring.  We must re-wire this child and that takes educating parents and the hard work and commitment involved in the process.  Yes, love, hard work, and the Lord.  Without the sustaining power of the Holy Spirit we just couldn't do this.  And we've seen powerful breakthroughs.  Discernment that the Lord provides is crucial too.

Just this week we discovered that Slava had an infected tooth.  We only realized it when he woke up one morning with the side of his face swollen.  I asked him if his tooth hurt, and he said, "Yeah, pretty badly."  Now mind you, up until that moment he'd never once complained of any pain at all.  A trip to the dentist revealed he had an abscess and needed antibiotic before the the tooth could be fixed.  It was the same tooth that had to have root canal and filling within the first 2 weeks that he was home from Ukraine.  The filling must have cracked and bacteria got in or something.  After 5 days on the meds we went back to the dentist where she cleaned it out, drained the abscess, and put a temporary filling in.  He had to stay on the antibiotic, but within 5 days we were back at the dentist having the tooth pulled.  During those 5 days Slava still didn't complain of the pain, but I have learned to ask him if it hurt.  And every time I asked, he'd tell me it hurt "pretty badly".  I also noticed that he was sticking his fingers in his mouth a lot.  Looking back to before we discovered the infection, I now realize he's been sticking his fingers in his mouth a lot, and his behavior had been worse then usual.  He'd been doing a lot of hitting, slamming doors, and even started kicking.  Now I realize that the pain was triggering the behaviors.  Why didn't he just ever say that his tooth hurt?  Well, when you spend the first 5 years of your life in an orphanage, and nobody ever comes when you cry (whether you cry because you're sick, in pain, hungry, or scared) - you learn that nobody will come, so you stop crying.  In the past 2 years we've poured love and attention on Slava.  We connect with him as a parent would an infant - going back and giving him what he should have had in those formative years.  He has bonded with us.  But does he trust us yet, maybe not completely.  I believe the day will come when he will know that he can tell us what he needs knowing we will give it to him.

We are absolutely in love with our little Slava.  All the hard work is worth it, and we have no regrets.  We could not do this without the Lord or without our family.  It takes a whole team of us working together to get through the days.  We run this race with endurance, keeping our eyes on the prize.  For we know that the Lord placed each of our kids in our family exactly where He wanted them.  Knowing that, and knowing where they'd be and what their future would have been like without having been adopted....we fight the good fight.

A Long But Very Good Day

Today we went to see our Slava in the morning. Missy was a big help with the language and Slava enjoyed her company as well. We shared the little room with a Ukrainian woman who was taking care of a baby about 2 years old with special needs. I don't know if she was them mother coming to visit or if she was maybe going to adopt. I have seen her in the room previously, but this time we shared it the whole time. Thankfully our Slava was pretty well behaved. He enjoyed the bubbles again, a banana, and looking at the picture book. It went pretty well, but if he starts to get wound up, watch out because he has a hard time stopping once he gets started! Missy taught us a new, very helpful word - "tee-ha" which means "quiet"! We use it a lot with Slava!

After the visit our driver, Slava, took us to the Vinetzia on Rusanifka (the YWAM base). Missy was very happy to connect with many people she knows and Jordan enjoyed playing with Stepan & Oksana's little girl. Oksana and I prepared dinner in the big kitchen along with some other ladies. I was mainly in charge of my chicken dish which seemed to be enjoyed by everyone. We were very blessed to meet several Ukrainian dentists and even one American dentist and his wife. There was also an American couple there who just flew in yesterday (on Missy's flight) who are here to adopt a 14 year old boy they've hosted. They had their 10 year old son with them and Jordan enjoyed his company very much. I also enjoyed speaking with a couple lovely Ukrainian gals who are part of the Word of Life base in Kiev. They asked me if I've heard of Word of Life in Schroon Lake! I had no idea that Word of Life had a base here. They do summer camps, winter camps, etc. They were very nice Christian girls. We returned to our apartment very full, very tired, and very blessed.

While we were out Irina called to say she thinks it best that we pick up our Slava tomorrow! They will pick us up at 9:30am and we will go to the store to by cookies, candy, and bananas for Slava's groupa to have a party. Then we will go to Borpka for the last time and pick up our boy! Now we must Slava-proof our apartment! We are very excited and a little nervous. Please pray that all goes well. That he will trust us and feel comfortable with us and not be scared. Also please pray that we get his passport tomorrow...Tuesday morning at the latest. The timing of this will determine if we will be on that plane on Thursday. Please pray for a mighty move of God, again on our behalf. We so much want to come home to our family, 4 weeks is enough! Thank you all so much. We love & miss you and can't wait to be home with you!

Beautiful Sunday

Today is a beautiful sunny day in Ukraine. We didn't even need our coats because it was so warm. We had a very nice visit on the playground with Slava this morning. While there I met a family from Virginia also adopting a boy from Slava's orphanage. They are also adopting a boy from another orphange, so these 2 boys will make 7 children for them. My heart feels for this family because they have been here 8 weeks. It sounds like they are having some difficulties similiar to what we went through in Vasylkiv 4 years ago. We will be praying for them. Our visit with Slava was good. We brought a small soccer ball which we actually purchased as a gift for someone (sorry Ezra it will be a bit used). Slava belly laughed every time Papa & Jordan kicked the ball to each other. We were trying to keep Slava low key because when the lady brought him to us she had many insturctions for us (which we couldn't understand) but big Slava translated the best he could. Basically she told us not to let him run around...yeah right!

After the visit we met Irina at the Zoo. Jordan had a great time looking at the animals and riding on some rides. We were disappointed that her son could not meet us, he had some math competition that he was in. The zoo had lots of animals to see, but Ira told us a sad story about it. She said last year several animals, including the elephant, died because someone put poison in their food. She said since the zoo is located right in the city some people would prefer the valuable land be used for something else. Very sad.

We took a taxi back to our apartment. Our taxi driver looked only about 18, but he did a good job. We are very tired from a good busy day and we're settled in for the rest of the day. I questioned Ira as much as possible about the rest of the process. She will pick us up on Monday at 8am so we can go to the Notary to make the application for Slava's passport. Then at 10am we meet the Judge to pick up our court decree (please pray this happens). I asked Ira if we would be home for Thanksgiving on the 25th, she said she will try. She will know better after she speaks to the man in charge of the passport office. She says some things are not possible, but already the impossible has happened for us. I told her that with God all things are possible! She agreed! God has blessed us with a very good team working for us here. We would not want to do this without them.

So please keep praying for us. Specifically that we will get our court decree on Monday, that we will get the birth certificate and other documents asap (like on Tuesday), and for a miracle that the passport would not take 5 days, and that we will be home for Thanksgiving!!!

Thank you & we love you all!

Our First Home-Cooked Meal in 3 Weeks!

Jordan & Lena

Slava "hammering"

Thank you all for praying for us, today was a much better day. The weather was a balmy 60 degrees and the sun was shining! We had a very enjoyable visit with Slava outside on the playground. He didn't find anything to throw, but he did find a little plastic rake which he proceeded to use as a hammer on everything he could find to pound on. The visit was good and we had fun. We returned to Kiev, had lunch, and walked down Kryshettik to the 5 floor "macys" so Jordan can look at the toys. He did swindle us into buying him a little battery powered red light to use with his toy cars, and I found a toy tool set complete with hammer for only 50 greevnah ($6.25). Slava is going to have a wonderful time tomorrow! We rested back at the apartment and then walked back down Kryshettik to meet Step-han from YWAM. He took us back to his apartment via the Metro (subway) which totally thrilled Jordan. For some reason Wayne didn't have the same reaction to the Metro as Jordan did...go figure! LOL. Step-han's wife, Oksana, prepared dinner for us. Our first home-cooked meal in 3 weeks! It was delicious: brown rice, chicken in tomato sauce, fresh veggies with ranch dip, pickles, and apple cake for dessert! Jordan was very happy because they have a 4 year old daugher, Lena. They had a wonderful time playing together. Wayne & I had a wonderful time talking & sharing with Step-han & Oksana. They want to have us over again before we leave and they want to meet Slava. They are a wonderful Christian family and we are very thankful for their hospitality. God is good. Step-han drove us all the way back to the apartment since the traffic at 10pm was much lighter! We are very tired, but very happy. Tomorrow we will rest in the morning and then leave to visit Slava at 3pm.

Ira says on Friday we can make application for Slava's passport, but we can do nothing else until we have the court decree which we can pick up on Monday. We were a bit discouraged to learn that the notary office where we need to make copies of the decree is not open on Mondays. And the birth certificate office in Vasylkiv is only open on Thurs & Fri, but Ira is trying to find someone in Vasylkiv to open up on Tuesday or Wed for us. I feel like, here we go again with all the obstacles blocking the way home. Please, please, pray that all the obstacles will be removed and we will have a clear, express lane out of here. Our hearts long to be home with our family. We miss you all so very much.

Iron Mama & Wild Child

Jordan is not the "wild child" (this time)!

We had an exhausting day! We walked down to McDonalds for breakfast to make Wayne happy. Then we had to return because Ira called and the tv guy was coming. We are desperate for tv at this point. Slava picked us up at noon to take us to the WWII museum which is located under the Mother Russia statue which we fondly refer to as Iron Mama. From there we hit the grocery store and tons of traffic, then off to visit our Slava. Big Slava did not stay with us for this visit because he said he had to go to the passport office (???? we are praying this has to do with Slava's passport????). At first we thought it would be a good thing to be alone with him again, but the boy was non-stop. Every toy we tried to play with he just threw (so we promptly took it away) or he used as a hammer to pretend he was hammering the wall. This got us in trouble with an orphanage worker who came in and told us to be quiet because they were trying to get the babies to sleep - at least I think that's what she said :) Then Slava discovered the sink and wanted to wash his hands for like 15 minutes. These visits are more difficult than they are enjoyable, it's sad to say. We have no control as parents yet and feel like we're being watched by the staff. We cannot discipline, other than saying "no" or "sit" and removing toys. When Big Slava is with us at least he can speak the same language and little Slava obeys. And I forgot the juice boxes in the car and the whole visit he kept asking for "Sok" which means juice. He even ransacked my backpack because he didn't believe my "no Sok" story. That will be the last time Mama forgets the sok! And to top it all off, Jordan was acting up. I think he's vying for our attention while we're trying to interact with Slava. The whole thing is very draining. We can't wait to just get him home where we are in charge and there's a million things for him to discover.



Today Irina told us that we need to visit the orphanage everyday during the 10 day wait. Apparently families are supposed to visit 2x per day. It's fine if we only go once per day, but we can't skip a day. When we visit is recorded in a book. The purpose of the 10 day wait is so if anyone wants to appeal the adoption they can do so during the 10 days. We're not concerned about family members appealing, but Irina said that there were people "interested" in adopting Slava. So we must do everything that we are supposed to do so we don't have any issues.



Tomorrow we will visit Slava in the morning, so we will all be on the playground weather permitting. Ha, no toys to throw out there! LOL. Then we are to meet some YWAMers, Stephan & Oksana and take the metro to their place for a visit. They are friends of our friends and graciously offered to spend some time with us. Stephan runs the Dental Truck for YWAM and visited our home church not too long ago. It will be nice to spend some time with fellow believers as well. That should get us through the half-way point of the 10 day wait!



Please continue praying. Pray for our visits with Slava to improve, for Jordan's behavior, for the rest of the 10 days to fly by and that no one will try to appeal the adoption, and for a very fast process at the end...we need that passport asap!



We are thankful for all of you supporting us and praying for us. We are thankful too for good health, good weather (near 60 today), good apartment with a washer & internet, good travel, and a good team helping us here.



We love you all and miss you soooo much.

Saturday in Kiev

Today we sort of took a day off from the adoption process. On the weekends we can go to the orphanage only in the morning, and since we just went last night we decided we'd take it easy today. So we headed out to walk around the city and see some sights. There was something like a parade going on on the main street, Krishetyc (I'm getting better with the name). It reminded me of Veteran's Day because there were soldiers, old army jeeps, a drum corps, a marching band, etc. It was something to see anyway. We also purchased a coat for Jordan because the fleece we brought for him may not be warm enough for the rest of the trip. I'll have to get a coat for Slava too because we only brought a fleece for him, and the women at the orphanage will have a heart attack if we only put that on him when we take him! We went to TGI Friday's for lunch and then grabbed some groceries. I have a great time walking around the city, but Wayne has a nervous breakdown! City boy he's not. Give us 38 Fares Rd. any day!

We are still praying and considering if Wayne will return home early. Our daughter, Missy, can get the time off of work but our friend, Joc, cannot. We're also considering having Jordan return with Wayne...maybe. Jordan is doing great, but it's a bit boring for him. It gets dark here at 4pm, so from about 3pm on we're in the apartment unless Slava has us out at the orphanage, then we get to stay out until almost 7pm, wow! Wayne & I are content to just rest & read, but Jordan needs to be entertained. He's got toy cars, school work, and we've played a million games of go fish. He even takes a bath just for something to do! He's going thru "kid withdrawl" he misses his siblings & friends. Now the tv is not working at all, so we don't even get Russian cartoons. Ira is looking into it. And I failed to pack movies to watch on the laptop :( We asked Irina to suggest some things we can do with him since we don't know what there is out there. She is looking at getting us tickets to the circus for maybe tomorrow. The next 8 days (of the 10 day wait) can be a little slow since the only thing we really need to do is visit Slava at the orphanage. This we love doing, but it can get monotonous for Jordan. After the 10 Day things will pick up again as far as the running around goes. I pray it will be a fast down hill trip home!

So please keep us in your prayers. Pray for Jordan, for our decisions regarding who stays and who comes, for the next 8 days to go super-fast, and that the final part of the process will go miraculously fast as well, we need that passport in record time, and oh God - please get us home for Thanksgiving!

We love & miss you all!

Love,

Wayne, Sandra & Jordan

more Independence Square

See the post below for the details. It's a bit chilly here. I think I'll be purchasing a scarf tomorrow! We love & miss everyone. I'll post again tomorrow after our SDA appointment! Please keep us in prayer! Blessings to you all!