I Cannot Do This

Our pond continues to be the winter hang out place.  Sierra and Andrii have been hosting ice hockey parties with our church youth group.  

The gang's all here!

 Night hockey under the lights!

 l-r:  Anna, Sierra, Curtis, with Jordan standing.

How gave that kid a stick?

 Even Jordan and Slava have been getting in on the action!  Somehow Slava made it out onto the ice without his skates.  He does wear them, I should know, I have to put them on him about 10 times a day!

Keeping warm by the fire!

 It's been so cold, but the fire makes it nice.  I, however, stay in my nice cozy house during these games.  I did manage to make about 20 cups of cocoa and deliver them to the frozen youth.  Then I fled back into the warmth of my cabin!

Lego Maniacs!

 My computer keeps posting my pictures out of order.  I haven't figured out why.  Here Slava & Jordan (who suddenly became camera-shy) were sorting through our Lego collection with Daddy.  We've got Legos from the years Curtis (now almost 21) was a Lego maniac.  Then Andrii took up the slack when Curtis got too old to play.  Actually, I do still catch Curt in the Lego bucket with the little boys at times.  Now Jordan has reached the age where he can actually build things himself.  Basically Slava just likes to throw them!

Daddy's (or should I say Jordan's) New Toy

Anna & Slava Writing On the Walls!

 I'm always looking for ways to help improve Slava's fine motor skills.  And with all the ice cold weather we've been having, the kids are always looking for something to do.  This week I hung up a long piece of brown paper and the kids drew with markers all over it.  It kept them entertained for a little while.  This week Wayne & I took Slava to his appointment with a developmental pediatrician.  It took us 6 months to get this appointment.  We didn't learn anything that we already didn't know, but this was the doctor to officially diagnose what we already suspected.  So it's official.  Slava has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.  Yup.  That's it.  Straight across the board from the physical features, growth rate, and behavior he fit all the categories.  Of course we knew this, but having it formally diagnosed was still heart breaking.  Continuously consuming large amounts of alcohol during pregnancy damages the brain of a developing baby.  FASD is really a type of brain damage.  It is very commonly found in children adopted from Eastern Europe.  So, we knew this was a possibility with any of our kids from Ukraine.  Jordan most likely has it.  He has some of the physical features, ADD, and even the scoliosis can be caused by it.  But Slava has it more extensively.  There is hope for him, lots of hope.  He's smart, already beginning to read, understand math concepts, and is over all doing great in Kindergarten (considering he's 7).  We're used to such delays with these kids from hard places.  In Slava's case, FASD really manifests in his behavior, reasoning, planning, decision making, etc.  All of this makes our job of parenting him draining, even frustrating, but always worth it!  On the hardest days (when I think "I cannot do this") I remind myself of a few things.  #1-God called us to this and when He calls, He equips.  And the Lord rarely calls us to do easy things that we can do on our own.  He calls us to just say "yes" and let Him do the impossible through us.  When I have remember this, I've experienced His faithfulness in spite of my failures.  #2-I remind myself of where these kids would be if we had chosen the easy, cushy life instead of God's will.  I am gravely aware of the statistics of kids in Ukrainian orphanages who never get adopted and age out of the system.  They end up on the street, living a life of crime and poverty.   The boys end up in crime, drugs, and jail.  Most commit suicide.  The girls are prime targets of traffickers who force them into sexual slavery.  So no matter how hard my hardest day might be, it's nothing compared to the future our kids would have faced if they had not been adopted.  #3 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress...James 1:27.  This is not optional.

Curtis and the Hockey Crew

 I love seeing Curtis and the big kids involved in the hockey games.  And Wayne is always out there with them too.  This week he even purchased some nice new goals and some skates for himself.

Jordan is on the ice!

To add to the craziness of life, Wayne and I signed up for foster parenting classes that Justice For Orphans is hosting at our church.  We want to be able to do respite for relatives who will be fostering and, since JFO advocates for adoption and foster care, we feel it is important for us to be educated on the process.  Plus I figure we'll learn something new.  Presently we don't have a bed for another child, but one day down the road that might change.  

I've been reading an excellent book that Mary told me about.  Kisses From Katie is about a young woman who felt the call of God to go to Uganda right out of high school.  By the time she was 21 she'd adopted 14 little girls and was called "Mommy" by hundreds of others who she demonstrated the Gospel to by feeding, educating, and meeting their medical needs.  Katie has reminded me that I cannot do this.  Only God can.  Lately I've been feeling a bit cranky about all the running:  doctor appt, dentist appt, OT, PT, get milk, drop this one off at work, get this one to a birthday party, pick this one up from work, get groceries, make dinner, run to church, run to karate, do school, pay bills, clean this, organize that, whine, whine, whine.  The crankiness comes from trying to do it all in my own strength.  Meanwhile nothing ever really gets done and I end up way behind and very tired....and cranky.  Not the way I want to be.  Katie reminds me that I'm not able to do it all.  Only the Lord can do it.  He just chooses to use us.  I'd been forgetting that.  So when I got up in the morning I'd be nonstop until I crashed at the end of the day, exhausted, tired, and way behind in my responsibilities.  So, I've had to repent of my prideful attitude.  Katie reminds me:

164.8 million needy children.  And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians.  The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left....

....People are people.  They all need food and water and medicine, but mostly they need love and truth and Jesus.  I can do that.  We can do that.  We can give people food, water, medicine, love, truth, and Jesus.  The same God created all of us for a purpose, which is to serve Him and to love and care for His people.  It is universal.....

.....Adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world.  And every single day, it is worth it, because adoption is God's heart.

From the book Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis.  

Thank you Katie.  And thank you, Jesus!