Yay! It's March! This morning when I sat down for my whole 5 minutes of quiet time, I heard a bird chirping outside. It's almost spring! Yes! I don't typically complain about winter, but this year was a tough one. Maybe it's not so much the winter season, probably more just the season of life I'm in, but I'm so very ready for warm, sunny weather. Lately I've been warning everyone that I'm going to spend 3 days on a beach, by myself, in Hawaii. Did I mention - by myself? On some more stressful days I've added that I might even drink a pina colada while on said beach. Now I've added that I will be staying in a luxury suite, by myself, and enjoying long, hot bubbly baths, with another pina colada. Did I mention all by myself? Ok, ok, it's just a dream, maybe even a fantasy, but at least my sense of humor is intact. The Lord has a sense of humor too - that's why my 16 year old daughter got invited by some of our close friends to go to South Carolina for a week. By tomorrow she'll be on the beach! Alls I can say is she better not drink my pina colada! Honestly though, I don't even drink alcohol. And I'm very happy that my daughter gets to have this blessing of a trip. She's going with her best friend, Luci. Luci's older brother is married and has 2 little kids. Luci & Sierra are going with them to help with the little ones. It doesn't hurt that they will be staying in a beach-side condo while they're helping!
Rock the Flock
Sierra teaching Jordan to punch!
I'm not sure why this pic is blurry either. My I-Phone is tired of winter too maybe? I'm so thankful that we have a Christ based Karate program 5 minutes from our house. Sierra is an orange belt (with a green tip), Anna is a yellow belt, and Jordan & Slava are still white belts. Watching the little boys in class is a crack-up. I wasn't sure they would ever really promote. They have such poor fine motor skills that their punching is very uncoordinated. Jordan's cast makes some of the moves challenging for him, and I'm not very sure how much Slava is getting out of it. His body awareness isn't very good. But last week when Sensei asked what a (some Japanese word) is, Slava raised his hand and said, "Front Slap Kick"! Sensei was a bit confused but then Jordan raised his hand and clarified, "Front Snap Kick"! Apparently Slava does know what's going on! Even if he can't pronounce it correctly. His social worker and his OT/PT therapists have all commented that Karate is an excellent activity for him. It teaches him to focus, listen and follow directions, obedience, discipline, improves coordination and fine/large motor skills, and is an excellent out-let for all that energy he has. We're considering taking him on Saturday mornings too. Maybe he'll become a black belt someday!
In this video, Sierra is the orange belt demonstrating high kicks. Jordan is in the front row and Slava is behind him.
Above is Slava & Sensei
Slava in a box!
Happy 26th Birthday Little Oscar!
Wayne and I are taking the MAPP classes to become certified foster parents. We're hoping to be able to do respite for some family members who are taking the classes too. And maybe down the road we'll do foster care when we actually have a bed available for a child. Mary and I are very excited about the coming months with Justice For Orphans. Tomorrow our Church youth group is doing a soup lunch fundraiser for us after church. They want to help us fund our radio show which we'll begin recording in a few months. We will be doing a community yard sale day this summer and a 5K run is in the works as a fundraiser in September. Our logo and website are almost complete. Sometime by the end of March I'll reveal them on this site! And Mary and I are registered and our flights are booked for Christian Alliance For Orphans' Summit 9 in Nashville!
Presently I'm re-reading Dr. Karyn Purvis' book "The Connected Child". I've said before that her teachings have helped us with our adopted children immensely. We even traveled to Nashville last September to attend her "Empowered to Connect" conference. And Wayne & I will be participating in a training program this fall so that we can teach other families how to connect with their kids from hard places. Upon re-reading the book I'm reminded about the power of fear. These kids live with fear due to the traumas they survived in their early lives. Looking back I now understand that much of Slava's behavior in the early days was due to fear - fear of us, fear of the unknown, fear of this foreign place we'd brought him. We knew he was in a much better place, a safer place, but he didn't know that. He'd never been safe before. Realizing this cultivates compassion. We're learning how to disarm fear with felt safety. In addition to the FASD and sensory issues, his disturbing behaviors are triggered by fear. There is hope however, and we are learning how to help him to feel safe which builds trust. He was never able to trust a caregiver before. It takes time to learn trust. Reducing stress, a predictable routine, giving some control with simple choices, respecting feelings, and giving kids voice all help promote feelings of safety over time. I've always thought it was sort of cute that Slava is a "backseat driver" - he's always asking me if I'm speeding, telling me when the light is red so I can be sure to stop, and telling me when to turn (he's pretty smart and knows how to get where we're going). I had chalked it up to him being a bossy Ukrainian. But now I'm realizing that in reality - he doesn't feel safe or in control in the car. There is underlying fear causing him to ask these questions. He doesn't have control in the car. Now I try to disarm the fear by telling him what the speed limit is and assuring him that I'm obeying that rule. I ask him where/when to turn, and tell him the name of the roads we're on. It's a lot of work, but he's so worth it.
Well, I just realized I'm home - alone! Better get going on accomplishing some paperwork while I have the uninterrupted time to do it! Blessings to all!
No comments:
Post a Comment